You checked all the boxes that proclaim you are a Believer! You, oh anointed one, were baptized and saved as a tiny infant in a flowing white gown or as a pre-teen dunked in a pool at bible camp. You know that there is a God and that he sent his son Jesus to die for your sins? Or you are a Deist who believes that there is a God who set the universe in motion and then departed, leaving humans free from the guidance of an all knowing God. Either scenario causes a belief that you are free from the grips of Hell. You are unaware there exists an easier life path through an age old book of laws. You are operating on your own free will and can manage life’s realm of possibilities just fine on your own, thank you. Your very humanity allows you to get busy being your authentic, kind and spiritual ‘you’! Right? Lean in with me as I share my well earned wisdom about the downside that comes with being just a good person in search of peace, pleasure and purpose or an ‘in name only’ Christian.
My path to peace affords me a front row seat to a new type of ‘goodness’ horning in on a biblical blueprint for Godliness as laid out in the bible. Over a span of 25 years I made sacred the wise words of a plethora of learned gurus like Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hahn, James Redfield and Michael Singer. I read every book churned out by Tolle and Chopra and basked in the guidance on how to become spiritually enlightened. The Myers-Briggs test answered more questions regarding my purpose and identity. I was becoming good and kind while self actualizing and focusing on me, me, me. Then, I joined up with the yoga community while living in South Carolina. I loved moving my body through all the asanas, breathing with intention, traveling to yoga workshops, and then, eventually, earning my advanced certification to teach yoga and find everlasting happiness. While encouraging my body to be flexible and my mind to be calm felt natural, complying with one component of yoga took great effort—the mantras and chanting. Yoga’s Hindu roots worship Shiva as the god of yoga and the words and chants often reflect a sort of meditation that could resemble worshiping false gods: I sure felt that. I could go from really relaxed after an hour of yoga to feeling rattled at the post asana chanting. These inklings I think were God’s whisper telling me I was veering off course from finding His Truth through my ignorant chanting.
Anyone reading the Old Testament understands God’s wrath toward humans who were led astray from His teachings by worshiping idols and satisfying their human desires. Our physical world was telling me I could determine who I was and find all the answers through meditation and exploration. I sought out purpose and clarity for my life from idols that held no eternal truth. We still worship all sorts of idols today. Celebrity trends, streamed shows and the worship of musicians whose lyrics subtly convey a belief that contradicts not only Jesus, but moral qualities once held as sacrosanct: respecting authority, loving your country and respecting traditions are a few examples. Yoga taught of honoring the light and love in everyone, kindness and respect for the world; these were all good things. Yet, there was not one guru or book that everyone agreed was The source. I bounced around convicted from one theory to the next. While many Eastern theories resonated with me toward my goal of happiness, the practice of yoga— without a firm knowledge of the word of God— led me into believing all things ‘spiritual’ were Godly and good.
I was encouraged by my new community to seek out palm readers, crystal therapy and opening up my chakras to find peace and purpose. A few years into my Eastern exploration, struggles raising my teen son overwhelmed my new found peace. At the suggestion of a friend at my yoga studio I began a relationship with a psychic medium. I leaned on him to tell me my future and the future of my son. My life spiraled farther out of control as my son nosedived into his own quest to find peace and purpose through pot and alcohol. In the midst of this worsening spiral a dark force moved into my soul and no amount of calming breath work, twisty body postures or Deepak Chopra could bring back my peace. Peering into my future via this medium led me further into anxiety and confusion.
I roamed around in a bleak wilderness, seeking to escape my confusion. I increased the fun trips, distracting events and reality TV shows, and converted the beauty of the occasional fine glass of wine into chugging down two glasses a night. Comfort and peace were found on an hour by hour basis. Sustainable peace was nowhere to be found. I don’t exaggerate how terrible it is to do battle with darkness. The enemy of that world delights when our confusion and sins pull us into darkness and further and further away from God. I knew many people who faced their own dark seasons with medication or therapy. My therapy had been yoga and my medication was vast amounts of natural supplements. I began going to church some Sundays to find the light. I bounced around from one worship place to another. One church was too young, one was too small, one had a stuffy pastor. All were not meeting my need to revive my peace! At one final point I prayed to God to restore my dead soul because I could no longer live in the ebb and flow of a dark and sinful existence.
In hindsight I saw he sought to rescue me with new friends, Godly influences, and even a faith-based yoga certification course in answer to my prayer. Nothing took away the dark cloud hanging over my entire existence. Then, I got cancer. No, I don’t believe God sends us disease. But I do know he allows certain trials that will draw us into intimacy with Him. Romans 8:28 says this: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.”
I opened my hardened heart a bit to allow passage to my soul some fleeting courage and faith. Still, my heart had not surrendered completely as the thrashing about during my struggle to get well continued. Then the medical community made some mistakes and my situation worsened. It was in crying out in prayer that I finally surrendered my will to God. I prayed for God to turn my hardened heart toward him. Over a two month span of spending every morning with God, letting go of my will and softening my heart in my prayer closet that I found an immovable faith that God’s will is far greater than me muscling my way into my desires for a bit of flexible comfort. That cycle of ‘my will be done’ is exhausting and soul crushing. In fact, Lucifer had enough of God being strong over him and fled the light with 1/3 of the angels and ever since has been trying to turn to darkness otherwise good humans.
Just believing, I discovered through rigorous trial and error, does not bring a sustainable peace and salvation. I believed superficially in God all through my life and found only heartbreak and a dance with the devil and false gods. My baptism as an infant and then in adulthood verbally committing to follow Jesus did not bring me peace. Believing in God is a nice start. Understanding that Jesus was given to erase our sins is a good next step. But Billy Graham says it best; “To believe in Jesus is to turn from a life of sin, receive Him as Savior, and follow Him as Lord by obeying His word. When this happens, a person’s desires change as they begin to follow His teachings found in the Bible. No one goes to Heaven because of their goodness. Those who accept Christ as their personal Savior go to Heaven because of what Jesus did on the cross. Salvation is the work of Christ alone; however, someone who is truly saved believes “in” everything Jesus has proclaimed.’
We can trust God for what is best for us if we truly surrender and lean on His understanding and not our own. This belief in everything Jesus says in the gospel relinquished me of the cumbersome and anxiety provoking task of thrashing around in search of joy. The only real truth and salvation is found in living out God’s words contained in The Bible. Everything I will ever desire outside my human flesh, any counsel about my future I will ever need and any medicine to heal me and calm my anxiety is found in God. But, there is a But.
We must take action to place God as a priority in our lives on a daily basis. It is not a one and done type of support. I believe therefore I am good, kind and peaceful! Nope. Who do you turn to in a crisis? Do you turn away from God into your own will or do you turn to His Words when crisis develops—and crisis will develop in the life of everyone. Finding peace and faith in God is not a hard thing. But it does require discipline. Every morning before the day begins, during the day when you feel pulled into worshipping what the world insists is important (money, career, opinions of others) and then thanking Him at night will eventually open your heart to God and keep you drawn to him every single day. Be diligent and faithful and the peace that surpasses all understanding will envelop your life.
When we inevitably slip back into the demands of the world and into the plan of darkness (to turn everyone away from the light of God) we can immediately restore our peace by calling out to God with all our hearts. We can chant the name of Jesus over and over to restore our calm. We can move into a posture of prayer or get down on our knees in desperation. God is always with us and He will never forsake us! When life gets hard we are not designed to become more confused. If we seek Him out in faith we tap into His Holy Spirit of peace and guidance within us. We will find our softened and loving hearts need never waver from understanding that we are made strong and full of purpose only through Him. Roman 87:8 states, “For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.”
The word of God allows me the freedom to do yoga, stream reality TV and have a glass of wine. I can take a personality test to gain clarity about certain actions or traits I have. I can live IN the world and enjoy myself because I adhere to God’s wise direction: I will be drawn to the holy and steer clear when the world offers up darkness. I set my heart and soul on God and gain a firm knowledge of His word—through daily study and prayer— to guide me. Submitting to His will by following His commands indeed brings a freedom that was only ever fleeting and fractious when caving to the desires and whims of the flesh.
Rescued by God’s miracles and by direct answers to my prayer, I am on the other side of illness and darkness. I find joy being in the world and not caving into the desires OF the world. I submit to God and work hard—like it’s on me but in God’s hands—and get to exist within a permanent peace and purpose unlike anything I found in a yoga chant or self help book. You can be good and you can be kind without God. But holding tight to God you can go from being a ‘good’ person to entering the promise of eternal salvation and unshakeable earthly peace, joy and purpose.
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